Wednesday, March 26, 2014

....lets look inside my brain....

Mission call 
Mission call
Mission call
Mission call
Mission call 
Mission call this 
Mission call
Mission call is 
Mission call 
Mission call all 
Mission call
Mission call I 
Mission call 
Mission call can
Mission call
Mission call
Mission call think
Mission call
Mission call
Mission call today 
Mission call 
Mission call
Mission call
Mission call
Mission call 
Mission call
Mission call
Mission call

{double post cause I can't help it}

The one day I wear shorts it rains...

She tries to be careful of what she says but her blue eyes crave crazy. 
Her relationship with giraffes is a strange one. 
She sleeps in a blue sweatshirt when nights get incredibly rough. 
Her friend down the road is in love with so many and they all love her back. 
Her friend up the road has the yearning to leave that tends to seeps into her own heart. 
She sucks badly at making choices even though they are already secretly decided. 
Her mother lets her snuggle up with her when father is gone and her tummy hurts. 
She wishes she could write as eloquently and beautifully as her friend up the high road. 
She falls too quickly and is thought less of for that sometimes. 
Her heart beats as fast as the raindrops. 
She shakes with nerves for tonight and where he will be called. 

And sometimes, probably too many times, she gets caught up in awe at the wonderful people that surround her.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Aw man

I want to go paint balling so deeply but I'm terrified i won't be able to handle the pain

I want to play coed soccer with someone but I'm terrified everyone will take it seriously and I'm not any good

I don't want people to ask me about my ACT score cause yes I already know I'm stupid and yes the test proves that. 

And I reeeeaaallllyyy don't want to talk to my dentist about my jaw because I know it will only mean bad stuff 

Yes I know these are all personal problems. 


Friday, March 21, 2014

Warm fuzzies inside

Socks that keep my toes warm 

Instant of frozen time

Simply feelings 

And experiencing 

Freaking out in the car

Realizing you can be seen through the windows

Driving away to a beautifully mixed CD by Riley

Monday, March 17, 2014

What a goober

I asked my brother to write to me like he was writing in his journaling or to write a  list. This is what came back:

Yo yo word

Things to update you on my life:
1. I can't pretend that this is my journal, I'm bad at keeping a journal as it is.
2. Things are really really great here in Thailand
3. We are moving apartments in this city, which will be alot of fun.
4. I'm super glad Porter and Jake are still working at the TW. I miss them a ton!
5. I'm super excited for those Thai girls to come to the house, so you and Dad and Mom can practice your Thai and speak with me when I get back:)
6. I'm running out of things to type.
7. Mothers here keep trying to convince me to marry their daughters. It happens on a daily basis. Guess my firey hair gets all the ladies....or their moms...
8. I'm out

Elder Tanner

Thursday, March 13, 2014

HA yeah....

Well I asked that attractive boy to go to a concert with me Saturday and he said he's going to Idaho Saturday. 


What does Idaho have that I don't?!



how could you resist that mixture? 

Jk. If only I had that much confidence...more like now I'm gonna buy some ice cream and down it tonight. 

And dread going to work cause now it's totes awk. 

Two claps for Hayley's failure. 

Should have just asked for a cd....

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

mi cabeza te duele

I've been finding really sick music lately and I wanna burn CDs to spread the love of music. 

Who wants one? 

P.S. I've got and SOS: how do you ask a really attractive person with amazing taste in music to burn you a CD?!

Monday, March 10, 2014

I went to go visit a family of a close friend of mine. And that was probably one of the hardest things I've done. I really don't understand why, maybe it's because it brought so many memories and feelings back or reminded me that my heart use to be filled to the brim, even overflowing with happiness back when we would be hooligans together. Whatever the case i miss him so dearly, but not in the "ooo la la! You miss your missionary!" Romantic sort of way. More like in the "I miss my best friend" sort of way. Cause that's what he was. He was my best friend, he would call me in the middle of the night because he could tell I had been struggling. He was the best friend that would text me late at night and see if I wanted to go for a midnight stroll to help get things off my mind. Sure you could see that all romantically, heck I even did sometimes. But what it all comes down to is that he was my bestest friend and I miss him so much. So much that sometimes I trap myself in my room and read his letters over and over. 
I wish so badly sometimes I could push rewind on life and go back to the summer day we made glass flowers at his work, or when I was inside a garbage can and he was pushing me down the halls and turned to sharp making the garbage can with me inside spill onto the floor and all those nights we jammed in his basement with our guitar and lele. Or to our last day together, when we went on a hike to a waterfall and I tried so hard to hide my tears as we said goodbye to each other. 
He said "This will only make us stronger" 

This will only make us stronger

Friday, March 7, 2014

mi papa

is a true inspiration. 

A girl suffering from depression and dramatic anxiety issues texts my dad or calls him almost everyday  
e v e r y d a y 

And everyday my dad answers with a cheerful voice reassuring her that she can get through anything. No matter what he is doing he takes time to answer her calls and crazy texts to help her 
e v e r y d a y

When I asked him why he always answers, and how he never gets annoyed or impatient with the needs of this girl, all he said was "she just needs someone to help guide her back to the light more than the average person does" 

My father is my hero. 

He is someone i can count on. 
Someone who will let me talk his ear off about my social life and the issues I face. 
Someone who always has an answer. 
He's the friend that will hang out with me on a Friday night when all my other friends can't. 

I don't know how I would be able to make it through this capital world without him 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014


I learned how measurements work with tuxes. 
I learned that Porter is way to easy to pull pranks on when it gets slow
I learned that it gets slow a lot 
I learned that Brent never actually planned on training me (THANK YOU PORTER) 
I especially learned that when using a carving instrument it is most wise to carve away from your fingers
And I learned my brother was an inspiration to a plethora of people before he left 
I learned that there is something more severely wrong with my jaw because a normal jaw doesn't hurt like H 
Today I learned that it's okay to be bold and ask someone to go to a concert with you
I learned playing games with certain people on the road prolly isn't the smartest 
And that it doesn't have to be awkward when you pull up next to someone you know at a red light 
I also learned that Buzz has really funny facial expressions 
Today I learned my boss loves buying us dinner more than life itself 
I even learned that I love yoga and miss it 

And tonight I'm learning that there is such a thing as Junioritis: the want for junior year to be over and easy senior year to start 

Also that sleep is pure bliss and I suck at going to bed early 

Monday, March 3, 2014


||Really dying to watch both parts of the last Harry Potter. But I don't have the second part :'( #HPOD
||What even is school? 
||Or the ACT?
||....or life? 
||Jeff the giraffe won't stop cuddling with me, like omg someone needs a hobby lol
||Cool Runnings looks so goooooood
||Wii Wipeout makes me laugh harder than ever
||I absolutly hate goodbyes. Even for just two years
||How do guy's sweatshirts smell so exquisite?
||cuz all I could get out was "be safe...Taiwan is super lucky...*tightest hug*...okay man, bye..." 
||All I ever want to do now is sleep, eat, socialize, and watch movies with you
||Curious to why my grades are slipping...
||People really gotta move on from the robotic squirrel. Like seriously
||Always have my hair in a ponytail because I don't actually wake up when I get out of bed
||Everyone says they'll cry if they get like 19 but I'm surprised if I even get 12...
||Salt Lake City Community College here I come!!! 
||This girl said she was gonna send me a letter but hasnt...kind of really wanted a letter from her..
||It gives me pure bliss when my hands are filthy with dried paint 

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Oh Mr. Tilney

If you're in love with pride and prejudice or any Jane Austin movie you must watch Northanger Abbey. 

The way Mr. Tilney looks at Miss Morland is too much to handle! 

And Mrs. Allen being so obsessed with the fact that Mr. Tilney knows what muslin fabric is. 

P.S. The fact that the main guy is played by JJ Fields makes this movie 10x better. Because in Austinland that guy makes your heart skip a thousand beats 

Saturday, March 1, 2014

girly post cuz yes, I can be a girl sometimes

You know when females see cold weather outside like rain and instantly have the dream to cuddle up with a male and watching movies all day? 
I got that dream. And even tho he had just gotten his wisdom teeth out and smelled of gauze, and I probably wasn't helping with the pain that was pure bliss. 
I obviously love doing anything and everything with my hoodrat friends, but Friday watching old batman movies and Austinland all day was something I needed. I needed that escape. 

Okay now you may judge. But first. Please look at these pictures and laugh at how drugged up and sleepy he looks in them

If you are looking for music that will touch your soul, here is just a little of what is inside my soul: 

+Birds eye-National Parks
+Last time-Taylor Swift 
+Turning page-Sleeping at Last
+Cough Syrup-Young the Giant 
+Somewhere Only We Know-Keane
+Wind and Anchor-National Parks

p.s. Lets go use my Polaroid film please? I'm kind of dying to take beautiful pictures with my beautiful camera.