Tuesday, December 3, 2013


These are my bestest friends. The only people that really know how to handle the weird things I do. I don't know what I'd do if I didnt have them 

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

I never know these days. The stresses push me down little by little each day. And I get lucky enough to catch a break, but just how Miley Cyrus puts it, it comes back in like a wrecking ball and I'm on the ground again. All I have to do is get back on my feet, but sometimes I need help with that. My clumsy feet don't seem to work the way I want them to when I need them to.  

I guess all I'm trying to say is my heart is beating hard, my eyes are looking at the night sky and it's sparkling lights, and I'm waiting for something to happen. Because any second I could fall asleep in your blue waterfall eyes. 

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Life keeps moving and it keeps moving fast. But that's exactly why it's so important to just keep living. Take life one breath at a time and never be too afraid to try something new or go on a wild adventure. 

Monday, July 29, 2013

waiting for something to happen

//This past week I have been home all alone. It has really shown me how much I depend on my parents for support, food, and love. Plus every creek and noise gets me scared to death! 

//I finally got to meet a real decent lad, and this one I really want to get to know. But I don't think it's going to really happen. Just because nothing seems to go right when a boy is involved. And with this one it kinda seems like I'm not playing the whole "hard to get" card so good...I think I'm actually creepin him out! Oh well...what's wrong with going out on a limb? 

//I am falling deeply in love with country music! Each song has it's own story to tell and I love hearing them. Just like when we would listen to our moms tell us bed time stories with focused eyes and big listening ears. 

//I miss my brother. Too much that if I think about him sometimes it's hard to breath normally and keep from leaking. 

//Summer is coming to an end. And I have said goodbye to too many people already I don't want to see anymore leave. But if it's The Lord's way then it's the right way. I only allow myself to have one hope, and it's that this next year I will meet more people. Fill in the missing pieces of my heart with new ones, even though I know the pieces won't fit like they used to I pray it will all mend with time. 

I feel a sort of numbness whenever I think about him and how he ran away. I guess it's how I keep it together and make it to tomorrow. 

Thursday, May 2, 2013


These past weeks have been pretty much a roller coaster! And I cant decide if it was a good roller coaster or a bad one? But I do know that these past couple of weeks I have been trying to soak in the precious little moments I have in the days. From laughing my lungs out with my best friend on a drive home to almost sluffing a class but laughing it off as if we would actually have the guts to do it and then to spontaneous runs to Chick-fil-a with a great person to use coupons. That last one was a serious one! {Wanna hear how that one happened?}  I am drifting into a late afternoon nap when someone replys to a text and said,
"Haha no. You know what sounds really good right now?"
 (keep in mind I responded halfway asleep) so I said,
"Waffle fries duh!"
and was surprised to get the response of,
"Oh my gosh dude. Lets go!"
And with that he came in an hour to my door and we were off to a night full of laughter and random conversations that came with the flow of the wind. I had such a fun time! I laughed with someone {other than my best friend} harder than I had with anyone for a long time! And it felt good, so good. I want moments like those more in my life, especially this month. I don't care about remembering this month and feeling a want to go back in time, I just want to be more happy than I do sad. That is my goal.

I know my days are limited with most of my friends as summer approaches, which is something I haven't yet fully figured out how to deal with. At night when I let all those thoughts come out of the corner I shoved them in in my mind, I am usually sitting on my deck listening to music and watching the stars, the thoughts get too big for me to shove them back and without meaning to I let the pain seep out as well. I convince myself that everything will be alright, that next year there will be new people I will meet and become close with. Which is true....but none of them will ever truly be like those I know now. Every time that thought comes to my mind my throat tightens up, and the only thing I can do is wrap myself in a blanket and go out to my deck. Most of those nights I want someone to call me and hear the hurt and pain in my voice and come join me on my deck, listen to me talk and sob. But none of that happens, which just brings more salty liquid to my eyes.

 I have become a type of waterfall that turns on whenever it feels like it, as silly as that may sound I'm worried the water flow wont ever stop. And that's why I cling to the little moments I have in each day. I am finding God blesses me each day with the people I share my days with and I try to make the most out of what I have now.

The time I have with them, with you is running out way too fast for me to be okay with it. There is so much I want to say to you, so much I want to hear you say. But sadly I know if I do then I am a distraction or worse, a creepo! But to be honest the inside of me doesn't care! The inside of me just wants to tell you, tell you face to face what I really feel about you. Not over text or hidden in a text. Which terrifies me to death, I cant help but feel you would be put in very uncomfortable situation because I know what would come from you. Somehow you would tell me bug off, or hit me with the truth I try not to think about. I haven't hit that stage of being alright with you leaving yet, like I know you have to, you want to! And the realistic me knows that it's the perfect choice you have made, I might even make the same decision myself in 2 years! But the outside of me cant handle it, this waterfall is about to burst in roughly 77 days. And I can promise you it isn't going to be a pretty sight.
With time this will all heal, I know that. But in the moment now I see you in the halls and want to run up and do something drastic.

One thing that hurts the most is that all of them are ready to leave, they want to get out of high school. which is very understandable...but....what about us that are still stuck here for a little longer? Are you just going to forget us? What will happen if we go to all of your homecomings and you see me and think "oh yeah, your that one girl that followed us around. How's it going?" I will never forget them, but will they forget me just like we forget what the summer sun feels like in the winter time?

 I will say that until I really have to face reality I will enjoy the moments I am given with you and all my other wonderful friends I am blessed with that will be leaving, and let the tears come at night. I will try to soak up all the sunshine you give off and face the rainy clouds that come after.

I just wish you were going to be there to hold an umbrella over me...

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Optomism beats Pessimism.

The clock ticks on, I try to drown it out with my headphones playing soothing indie music. I've lost count of how many days there are left, and I'm glad because that number would be banging around in my head like the crashing waves of the ocean. I know the time is limited, and I try not to worry about it. But all I can focus on now is how to make every moment count.

4 days until the best night comes knocking at my doorstep. I can't even imagine how dashingly handsome you will look, or how much laughter will escape my lungs, or even how the night will end. I do know that at 11:11 I will be wishing for that night to never end. And for the people I'm with will never leave my grasp. Because letting go is too much for me, especially the moments when you think the pain has left, or the longing is over then you hear a song that reads your heart like a book and you can't help but shrivel up and let the tears flow.

It's happened to me more times than I can count. For those you left, for those who left you, and especially for those who have moved into the next life. That's where the blade strikes the deepest. And I know I will join them again, I know I just need to make it through this life correctly and stay on the right path. But some days I just wish they were by my side, having as much fun as I am!

Missing people before they are gone and when they are gone is the same thing. It hurts all the same. All I want is distractions, and this week shall be a great one! I know my mind will be on you because of the big moments that have been happening in our family and you haven't been here to experience them, but what I need to focus on now is happiness. Eternal happiness that is, because without the eternal side I know I wont be walking the path with the right attitude. The only way I can think of achieving this eternal happiness is through my brother and Savior, Jesus Christ.

This past weekend has opened my eyes to so many things! I love General Conference for that, and am sad it is over. There is a special spirit that it creates, because you know that as your watching it millions of other people are too! It  is such a neat experience! And I felt in my heart as the Apostles and Prophet spoke that everything they were saying was true. Without a doubt! A major topic they went over was trials, and having enough faith. I know that there will be hardships in my life, and that the pathway back to my Father in heaven wont be a smooth one, but none of that scares me. I am confident in my Lord, and the plan that has been placed before me is what I need in order to return righteously!

 I cant express to you how much this past weekend has helped me in a hard trial I have been dealing with. I know that I will return to heaven, and that I have a wonderful little brother there waiting for me and my family. I know that we will be united and become a whole family once again. I love this gospel, and I will strive everyday from now on to be worthy and righteous to return to Quinn. I know he is watching over me, and I can feel him close to me when I am struggling, just like our Savior is when we feel we cant keep going. Never forget the love our God has for us.

This gospel is true, I believe this with all my heart.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

My Elder

"Dear Elder Tanner,
      You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the THAILAND BANGKOK MISSION....You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, June 12, 2013. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Thai language."

{My father served the exact same mission!!!}

Holy Macaroni! This is the third brother of mine to leave on a mission! And somehow it gets harder and harder with each one. Especially my dearest brother Jameson, he has always been my best bud. Of course there are moments I will tell him things and he will just tell me I'm an idiot, but that's the brother in him.

Jameson is the type of brother that if you kiss a boy he better be the first to know. He watches out for me even when I don't think he cares, when I have those tough days and the tears come he lets me cry it out then gives me advice. Reassures me and shows me he loves me in his own way, although it's not in words I see it in his eyes. He is just the coolest person I know! He is so humble and thoughtful, I cannot wait to see how these next 2 years treat him! I know he will be such an amazing missionary, and will bring the gospel to so many people. The light he already gives off is so bright I cant imagine how much of a glow he will have when he comes back home.

June 12th will be one of the hardest days! I know he wants to go, I want him to go! Its the best thing possible for him, I just wish I could be right alongside him making sure he is being taken care of and isn't stressing about anything. I love my brother will all my heart, he has always been my big brother, the one I look up to most. How will I make it through 2 years?!

I pray every night that he will become strong and bold in this mission to come. He will be faced with so many challenges and struggles, but whatever happens is what the Lord needs to have happen in order to make him the best missionary he could be.

When he finished reading his mission call he gave all his friends hugs and then came to his family, we all gave him hugs and congratulated him. But when he hugged me I had never felt so much love from him, I cant even express the love i have for that red headed boy.

 I love this gospel and what it does for my family, I couldn't imagine my life without the gospel in it. I am on such a spiritual high this week! And going to the temple today just added to it. Its amazing how much happier we are once we have been touched by the spirit or spent time in the Lord's house. I would recommend going to the temple to anyone at anytime of the day! Just go and you wont regret a moment.

The church is true! Don't doubt it for a second :)

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Imagine Dragon's concert!!!


Last friday night I went to my first concert!! And guess who was playing?? IMAGINE DRAGONS! Pretty much the best night I have had so far! The crowd was agressive though! But it was all worth it! SO WORTH IT! I went with the best people, people you knew that whatever happened they'd be there for you!

With every beat of the drums and vibrations I felt vibrate deep within me I fell more and more in love with them. Tears came to my eyes, and I couldn't get over the fact the Imagine Dragons was right there in front of me! It was a wonderful feeling! A feeling I just don't think I could express unless I was a writer of 25 best sellers ;)

The next morning was filled with ringing ears, dehydration, and a mild concert hangover but I felt so alive! Well until that evening then I crashed at my friend's house and watched Les Mes. I love moments like these. Where we are living in the moments, feeling people come together for a beat and words being sung. There are those beautiful moments I live for.

Now and forever.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Just Another Friday Night ;)

 2 days ago I rode my longboard over to my best friend's house (Liz), when I showed up at the door and was greeted by a barking dog and Liz with a big smile on her face. She had just finished playing Just Dance with her little brother and they were now making some sort of a smoothie with the ingredients of Lemon Juice, Oranges, a little bit of Milk, and Ice. We were sitting drinking and slurping the combination for a little bit when her parents came home. After making chit chat with the folks we went into Liz's room that looked like she had 10 maids come in and scrub from top to bottom clean! ;) We changed into wonderful animal shirts and short shorts (the usual wear for our get togethers). Liz looked up at me and said quietly "is it just me or do you really want to go CHUNKY DUNKING?" what is Chunky Dunking? It is the spontaneous act of skinny dipping but with clothes on. My eyes went big and I answered her with an excited "YES!!!"

We immediately went into action. Thinking of how to do it, where to do it, and what we would need. When we were dress correctly and ready to begin this spontaneous adventure we took off! Not telling our parents thinking we would just call them to come pick us up after. So we walked/mom speed walked there. (This is all happening around 9:30-10) When we got to the grassy hills we ran up singing "The Hills Are Alive" from The Sound Of Music. The night air was filled with laughter and music, just the way a summer nights would be. Nothing could be better than this I thought. These are the moments I live for! We live such a routine life, always living off of the minutes and hours our days are filled with. Staying on task and being efficient is how we work through each day. I always want to break from the planned out, step by step things we do! Why live your life in a routine when you could be off having adventures with your best friends?! That's what drove me that night closer and closer to the pond.

When we got there, we began to get nervous. Which is expected after you read a sign that says NO TRESPASSING. But we pretended not to have seen the sign and proceeded with our mission. Cause that's what you do ;) Plenty of cars passed by, and with everyone we got more and more anxious! So we manned up and slowly made our way closer and closer to the pond water. We dipped our toes in the water and felt how freezing it was! We backed away and looked at each other with anxiety in our eyes, "Are we really doing this?!" my bestie said to me. Nervous laughter came out as I replied "Lets just run in!". So we grabbed hands to help us feel more courageous and just booked it in like there was no tomorrow, we got to about our knees and just sunk down. It was probably below 0 water because all we could do was scream! We were probably in the water for less than 30 seconds before we ran back out. We looked at each other and just laughed till it hurt! "We didn't even get our heads wet!!" Liz said. So we looked around to see if anyone had heard our screams, then ran back in!!

We ran until the water was to our hips and I just went under! The cold water seemed to suck out the air from my lungs as I came up! Gasping I yelled "Now you go!!" to Liz. She went down then came shooting back up. "I cant breathe! I cant breathe!!" and with that we ran back out. The sand was killing our feet to walk on as we made our way back up to the bench we had set our stuff on. I honestly believe I am living 3 more years because of how much I laughed that wonderful Friday night! We called Liz's mom and told her to bring towels. She wasn't too ecstatic about the whole experience as we were, but I think it was worth it! And I still believe that even though we reeked up the car with our pond water smell! We went to pick up Liz's little sister and when her sister got in the back with us she asked her mom if she could sit up front with her! That's how bad it was! We drove home and was lectured on how dangerous and reckless that was but that only made me giggle more. Which is probably not the best attitude to have... I felt bad for Liz because I had to leave her with mildly upset parents.

 When i got in my car my dad just plugged his nose and asked what I did. When I explained he looked at me concerned and asked "Where there any boys? Where you fully clothed? You guys didn't get hurt right?" when I answered he just said we were crazy and didn't say anything else! I was the one giving all the details! And he laughed at the funny parts! I even said we didn't tell Liz's parents we were going to do it. Nothing. Just a nod. My father gets the Father Of The Month award. I was just worried Liz had gotten in a lot of trouble! But I think we are in the clear now with out parents :)

I don't think I would have done anything like that with anyone else but my best friend! She honestly makes me feel so more confident in myself! And I hope and pray everyone has a friend like Liz. She is that amazing friend that will lift you up and make you want to always do good! (except when we do rebellious adventures, then it's just fun!) ;) She is that amazing friend that will face hard things and still have a smile in the end of the day, even though you can tell there are tears that want to seep out. She is the strongest and most courageous person I have ever met, and this week has put a spotlight on that. I cant express my love to my best friend! She calms my nerves and stress with just simple words I need to hear. Man I could go on forever!!

The night is late, I have chunky dunking to do.
Sweet dreams.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Life Abundant :)

You know those moments when you just feel like your sitting on a cloud soaking in all the sun? Yeah that's me right now. Not to brag or anything but life is going pretty great for me these days! I don't think I have the right to even complain! I mean, let me go into a little detail of why my life is going great.

1. I have the goofiest, sometimes scary crazy friends in this giant slowly rotating world! I just cant tell you how much I love them!! My friends are the reason I wake up each morning, the reason I don't sluff every class I have... and also the fact that I am terrified the police will hunt me down and catch me!! I am 100% positive I am going to live an extra 10 years because of how hard I laugh when I am with my friends!! And the most randomest things happen when we are together! First we are making grilled cheese and the next thing you know we are laying on the ground writing lists, forgetting we have a sandwich on the oven burning darker and harder! I don't know half the noises that come out when we are together but I don't care! I just want to live in the moment and join in with the noises and laughter that appears out of lack of words! I love my friends, and am positive they are what make me, me!!

2. My friends are very talented in pretty much all that they do!! Its crazy how just a group of awesome teenagers can come together and make such beautiful music. I wish I could be as talented! But you just wait till my senior year, I don't know what will happen but only good can come from my senior year. And the thought of college will increase my need to be crazy, because who wants to grow up? Not this Miss over here! No way. But I will for sure shoot to be as talented as this group in the picture below! They played "Little Talks" and blew us away with their skill and hot voices!

3. I cant get enough of my Ukulele!! Honestly I could just play that babe all day long!! It honestly has become a drug for me....I think I might need help. And I'm not even good! i know one song? It's just me laying in my chair jamming away in hopes that something incredible will happen! Maybe something like I will hear a chord and just instantly know how to play!! But for now I will jam away, let my mom tell me I sound like a dying cow, and find a sculpture in this block of marble!

4. Seniors are the funniest, craziest, weirdest, people I have ever met! and I cant wait to be one!! I think this picture shows exactly what i mean :) Like, who does this? hahaha only the people I know!! And I love it!! To be honest the kid's face in red, David, makes me laugh so hard I could bust a gut! His face slays me!! And that's just his personality! I don't know him super well, but of what I have learned, he is exactly like that! But everyone in this picture is like that, he just happens to be showing it the best. I am excited to be a senior, not excited to loose these ones though. Just the thought makes my heart hurt. And the funny part is, I haven't known them long! They have just accepted me and my friends in their circle! And maybe that's something I will miss the most, they know how to show you love. In friendship and in romance haha jk!! You know I wish ;) The guy on the farthest left is the guy i get to go to prom with!! But we will get to that later! Just know that these boys, and many more friends have given me such a blast this sophomore year of mine!

5. My brother is preparing to leave on his mission!! He is filling his papers out as I type this ridiculous post! Oh man!! Ladies, I am just sorry you missed out on this hunk ;) But on a serious note, I think this is the one brother I will miss the most! He isn't that far away from my age, and even though he is quiet and keeps to himself, I know he is there for me. Man I love this kid! This ginger fellow is one of the greatest! And I cant even tell you  how amazing he is going to be in the Lord's hands. His mission is going to strengthen him in ways you'd think weren't needed or even possible! I am so grateful for this church and how is strengthens my family and me. I cant wait to write this missionary and see how the next 2 years of his life pan out!

6. I have the greatest dad in the world! Like, lets be honest here! He is the greatest example, and every time I see him struggle and get on his knees I can tell there is a superhero in disguise underneath all his dorky, sentimental, giant heart.

7. I have so much ahead of me I want to accomplish! So much I just don't know what to do first! I have so many opportunities and chances in this life its hard to know which one to do first! But I think I will take each day with my foot in front of the other.

8. I have ancestors. I know what you are thinking, "well duuuuhh! what's the big deal?!" But let me tell you! I just looked at my family tree and saw all these amazing people that I am related to! The thing that kept popping into my head was that they count on me to keep my name a honorable name. And that helped me see my life so far in a kind of bird's eye view, and see what more I can do! (deep right?!) ;)


9. (I hope you are already sitting down, but if not you better take a seat!) I am going to Prom!! Right?! Who would have thought someone was brave enough to ask this grasshopper shake addict creature to a dance??! And to shock you even more I am going with a great guy!! I mean GREAT guy! (see picture below) I cant even express to you how happy I am to just be going to Prom, but to be going with a guy like the one I am going with? Yeah I pretty much go into shock everytime I remember I am going to Prom with a stud!! It kinda gives me the feeling of pressure to think that this is his last dance! But no matter what, I am going to have a BLAST!!! And his best friend asked my best friend!!!! So pretty much the sum of my feelings for future Prom: EXTRTREME HAPPINESS :D

Its 11:11! Make a wish!

Friday, February 22, 2013

Im a little late!

I love, love, love, meeting new people!! There's just something about making new friendships and relationships with others that brightens my day!

I recently have met some nice males these past few months. And frankly I love being around them!!!! Sure having them all be attractive is a nice touch but it's only a bonus! Because let's face it, if they were nerds with pants hiked up to their chins and still had the same personalities they have now, I would 100% still love them!! They are my favorite!! And I've noticed with age comes weirdness! They are such weirdos! But I love that because it gives me hope for the future!! I'm gonna be the weirdest weirdo there will be! And I'm so grateful to them for showing me that it's okay if you are a giant dork! Cause they all are! (In the nicest, coolest way possible!!)

When valentines day came around I would see office aids come in and hand flowers to the teachers to pass out to those lucky son of a guns that had a secret admirer! And knowing me I would get my hopes up, I know that's my main weakness. And I'm sure I'm gonna die from getting my hopes up, ill probably have hope that my murderer won't kill me but he ends up killing me anyways, or ill have hope that the air balloon I was forced into will stay floating but it ends up falling into a shark infested ocean! ...that got a little extreme..

Anyways!! When my valentines school day was over I was a little disappointed, but I can't show that because if I did my friends would just roll their eyes and think "typical Hayley, getting her hopes up then coming to me to whine about it!" So I hid it (I'm a master at that by the way!!) so I was walking with my friend and one of the lads I had a little fancy on came over and wished me a happy valentines day. And there it was! That is what I needed all day! Someone to wish me personally a happy valentines day, and it wasn't in the robot/typical voice everyone said it! Just like happy birthday!, or merry Christmas!. And so my day was looking a little brighter!

That night as i was watching one of my favorite tv shows my doorbell rang!! I went to the door thinking my brother was getting some more girls to woo him but was surprised to see the 3 studliest, most classiest guys ever on my doorstep. I didn't know one of them but him just being there with the other two made him a stud. They looked at me with big smiles and their hands behind their backs. One nudged the other and they both outstretched hands with roses in them!!!

My night was made. That's all I can say about how happy I was. They had brought me flowers! What amazing guys?! I don't think they will ever understand how grateful and precious that was to me! I know they did the same thing to other girls, but just to know I was in that mix of girls makes me want to sing to the world!

So basically, best night! And I just want to thank those boys for what they did. They sure are special guys, and I can't wait to see how the future plays out for them :)

Con Amor,

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Found My Marbles!

      i just love life! I've finally found happiness inside myself! And i cant tell you how much happier i am! Sure there are days i get down and reconsider everything but why waste a day sad when you could be dancing down the hallways?!// i am saving up for a Polaroid camera!!! the old vintage ones that spit out the pictures! i pee my pants evey time i think about just holding it!// i have finally found that even if i miss out on some opportunities new ones will come my way!// i have realized that senior boys are much more worth my time than silly youngsters!// i want to do something athletic! running maybe...? but i worry if i do that ill be intruding in other people's friendship bubbles...// i struggle to figure out what to wear each day! sure that sounds like every other teenage girl, but i have a much more serious problem. i am practically running around in my underwear until the last minute i have! i wouldn't be surprised if i forgot and ran to catch the bus in my bare undies! A nightmare i have actually had plenty of times.// i have always secretly wanted glasses. but i am too afraid of people making fun of me for wearing them and not needing glasses. One of these days I'm just going to say "screw it" and come wearing whatever the heck i want! (animal shirt with sweats, and glasses) and not care what anybody thinks! ...but if you knew me you are probably thinking "BS!" because that is the one thing i struggle with! NOT CARING. if i truly didn't care what anyone else thought i would be one crazy chick! Something ima definatly work on for sure!

    This next part is called "HAYLEY'S LIKES & LOVES"

1. Hi-Chews, they are a mixture of mumbas and noni-chews! (2 of my favorite chewy candies!)

2. Animal Shirts. Today was 'wild life wednesday' and i met fellow animal shirt lovers! we will soon be forming our own country, so watch out animal shirt haters! there is no stopping us now.

3.Baseball Hats. Especially if they are backwards, they just make me feel apart of something! or like im actually a cool chick!

4. Guys, it's pretty explanitory.

5. Headphones. Because they i can dissapear in them.

6. FOOD. Because when people cant be there, food always will be.

7. MUSIC (obviously i have to go into what bands)
    a. Mumford & Sons
    b. Imagine Dragons
    c. {love songs}
    d. Ed Sheeran
    e. {country} yes, i said country
    f. Macklemore (clean versons)
    g. [pretty much music you listen to as long as its clean and has a beat]

8. Package Diliveries. Even though i know what is inside, my mind always wonders...:)

9.Friends. We can all say something different for why we love friends. But basilcally if i had to keep it short and simple? Its because they help me form the person i am.

So before you go to bed tonight, think about all the little things in your days that make you smile. The people in your life that you can't live without. And give thanks.


Monday, January 28, 2013

Practically my sister!

Family is a wonderful thing, especially cousins. One cousin in specific is very dear to me! She is one of the five girls on my dad's side, and the only one closest to my age! (She's 19!) this time about 2 years ago I thought she was the weirdest person alive! ;) just kidding she's probably the coolest!! But I remember I'd only talk to her when our parents talked an even then it was extremely awkward! Which I don't get with relatives! Some relatives you are just praying don't talk to you in fear things will get awkward. But my relationship with my cousin now is the kind I would have if I had a sister! I can honestly tell her anything! (Of course there will be witty comments back to me but that's just how we are!)

I honestly believe our relationship strives on movie quotes! Or funny things people have said that we almost peed laughing at! There are so many inside jokes I worry ill forget them all! I can cry to her and she will listen, try to give advise to me. I can always count on her, (well when she's not making out with boys ;)) but if I need to talk I know I can call her and she will always be on the other line.

Another great thing about her is she is the biggest good there ever was! I know she'd probably say the same about me too! I bet if I suggested going to Denys at 2 o'clock in the morning she would go with me! We could seriously do anything! And sometimes we do! She's a great example to me! (She would obviously shake her head and laugh at how crazy I sounded) but its true! She knows more about boys than I do (that's a given) and maybe some things she says aren't the smartest but there's a great spirit to her! She is leaning towards choosing to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ, and I know that's gotta be a very difficult decision but I am positive she could do anything she wanted to if she put all her focus on it!

So pretty much she's awesome! I have been feeling down lately and after hearing me whine and crying she surprised me with taking me out to get shakes! And she doesn't live to close either, so she truly is awesome!! I love her to death! And I know it's going to be the longest 18 months of my life if she chooses to serve a mission. But I know whatever happens is always for a reason.

I love my cousin with my fat heart ;) and if she ever reads this, all I have to say is "your welcome" ;D love you kettie <3

I'm out.