#TBT

when I slept on a pool table with Kasey and almost peed my pants because of an itty bitty mouse. 

when I fell asleep in class and everyone snuck paintbrushes in my hair and clothes...THEY FIT 12 ON ME. 

when I licked dinasour poo because my boss convinced me it was a rock that tasted like battery and everyone needs to know what battery tastes like before they die

when I hid inside my house 24/7 when I was little because I had headgear

when I laughed my head off for hours while listening to Walking Off The Earth music because who doesnt?! 

This wasn't suppose to be a list but apparently that's how my mind functions...

Ridiculous or Relatable...? 

--->LOLZ AT MY LIFE<---

sorry meanie face

IM SORRY 

I'm sorry it's my first day on the job. 

I'm sorry I have no clue what I'm doing. 

And Im sorry you need to be somewhere this exact second. 

But that doesn't give you any right to chew me out and make me cry in front of coworkers. 

2 dddaaaayyyyysss

is all that's left!!! I can't even explain my excitement, and the funny thing is I'm not quite sure why I am so excited...? 

Prolly cause he is going to say the goofiest things. And the whole puffy cheeks part just sounds too hard to pass up!  

please let Friday come faster!!

Charles

My fingers burn. I've been playing Charles too much and it's putting indents in my fingertips. I guess you could say I'm stressed today, that's usually what makes me turn to Charles. Because I've had him since the thick and thin of moving...the future freaks me out. Not the whole independence and husband with family stuff, it's the whole process of it all and getting there. 

And the unknown. 

But the smell of this jacket and the tunes from my lele calm me. 

i'm in love with this shirt and yesterday...and life right now. 

Also a girl I wrote a letter to gave me a hug today. 

She's like my role model guys. No joke. 

maybe

it's the fact I can't hear anything but the band. 

Maybe it's the way the beat pulses inside my entire body, or the way everyone is nodding to the same rhythm 

Maybe it's because the people that gather there couldn't be more different. 

Maybe it's because the way music brings everyone together just for one night. 

Maybe it's 'cause I feel like the singer is looking right at me or how I feel he is singing straight from the place called my heart. 

Maybe it's because I know I won't be able to hear anything the next day. 

Or maybe it's because I know I will be the good kind of sore tomorrow. 

Maybe it's 'cause I love band t-shirts so much. 

And maybe i want a whole weeks worth of them. 

Maybe it's because I get a fox stamp on my hand every time I step inside. 

Maybe it's how the room turns humid from all the warm bodies jumping up and down to the beat. 

Whatever it is

--->I'm a concert druggie<--- 

Or maybe, just maybe it's because there are memories on those walls that are decorated so lovely like. 

Come to the velour with me. 

Let's make it our home. 

Because I just want to drive you all mad with lists...here's what pulls at my heart strings

^Watching Austinland with friends

^Late night runs to Wendy's and laughing until it hurts too much 

^You and I- Ingrid Michelason. That one tugs at my heart strings 

^Sugar cookies from the slurp

^People saying how much they care

^The way my dad snaps his fingers whenever he walks up the stairs 

^Snuggling with Jeff the giraffe 

^When my grandma asks me if I have a husband yet

^The rush from a paintbrush sweeping on canvas

^How my parents understand perfectly when I just need a day off 

^Your blue eyes 

^When people laugh at something stupid I said 

^The way your hair smells after a haircut ---> BANGS

^How you can feel yourself slipping into unconsciousness on your soft pillow

^My math tutor. What a guy

^When a song comes on the radio and every fiber in you body wants to turn it up and belt it

^When I get the image of something I want to paint and can see it perfectly

^Getting a back scratch

^That look in people's eyes when they talk about their passions 

^When courage comes and I can spit out what's been torturing my mind

 

Stay classy. 

#sorrynotsorry

Last night I was in the dumps so I re-read my old journals to get some kicks and giggles out of it. But instead of LOLing, my heart began to fill with so much gratitude. I realized how crappy my life was when I lived in Orem. I know you are suppose to look at the positive of your past. But honestly? The only good thing about Orem was that my family was there for me. And even then my brothers were all teenagers and youngsters who wanted to be with friends more than family. There's a lot I don't like to talk about or share with others because I hate remembering it. Now don't think I had a terrible childhood or anything, my childhood was wonderful! But once I hit 6th grade everything changed. 

My friends would start to invite me to sleepovers and "parties" that for some reason gave everyone the idea to make stupid choices. They started hanging out with older kids, trying to be cool cause that's all that mattered to them. Being the world's biggest blonde I didn't think anything of it until my dad woke me up, and helped me see through the fog that my friends had created. So I "got out" so to speak and told them I was sticking with my standards which led them to ignoring me because that wasn't the cool thing to do. And soon they became people I didn't even recognize anymore. I'm so grateful I woke up, even though it ripped my heart in half to be shut out by your friends you use to play house with, run around with at recess, and swap Polly Pockets with. 

I hung on to my Heavenly Fathers hand through 7th grade. Looking back now I probably was that quiet weird girl in the corner everyone walked past. But that's okay, my Savior was with me through the thick and thin. Then my parents told us we were moving and a massive weight was lifted from me. 

When we moved I was terrified but unbelievably excited for the new adventure that was coming our way and a fresh beginning. My mother was so worried and frantic when we decided to move. She kept saying we were moving to get more space and a nicer home but I knew it was for me. And now look at my life. I have wonderful friends that are to die for, and some even have the bestest blogs out there. I love them dearly and am grateful for the challenge to become better they give everyday! Believe it or not but they accept me too, weirdness and all. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I truly am forever in debt to The Lord for rescuing me and putting me somewhere I belong. 

There still are days I get texts from those old friends that sometime open the wounds back up, and sting. But all I can do is pray they will find their way too. 

Wow this was bold.

#sorrynotsorry  

K bye. 

So that happened

My art teacher threw away every art piece I've ever done in her class by accident

I don't think I've felt so crushed.

How

do you paint something that is cleche not cleche, especially something like flowers? 

How do you become your own person and have your own style when everyone else is trying to do the same thing? 

And how the cheeseburger do you come up with a really good way to ask someone to a dance?!

---> the pressures of AP art, ladies and gentlemen. (And the million of girls asking to morp already) 

If anyone has those answers I would deeply and utterly appreciate it! 

Muchas gracias 

P.s I'm in love with hugs that lift your feet off the ground 

hold on

to your hats boys and girls

thoughts are running a mile a minute here

Stay fresh ta death you hooligans. 

Tonight I waited

And waited

and waited

When someone stands you up it hurts. 

Kind of a lot. 

Today

I woke up to a gift card to H&M and a big stuffed giraffe and my heart almost burst with happiness. I love my dad to the moon and back. That guy knows how to make me squeal with happiness 

Today school was rough. Not because it was valentines day, I can promise you that. Over stupid foolish things. Lets just say it was one of those days you plug in the headphones and unplug the world. 

Today my amazing parents took me to pizza pie cafe. Where I stuffed my face. They sure know how to make a girl feel better. FOOD

Tonight? I had the time of my life and probably won't ever forget how much laughter escaped between my lips. I've grown abs of steel since that July 4th party, don't worry in the summer I plan to bake cookies on them

Right now? Totally snuggling with adorable Jeff the giraffe. Yes you can be jealous now 

Some days i just want to press pause for a little while. Especially when my favorite friends from LP come to visit. Why can't there just be one school? Life would be bliss

Now I get to sleep for 6 hours and wake up incredibly early for a Saturday morning and clean the church...bleh good thing headphones were invented or I'd be in a pickle

Merry valentines day you hooligans!

Please Ooooo and Awwww at these blury photographs 

day of the fact

Fact #776: females take longer to get ready because they change their outfits roughly three times before confidently saying yes to one. 

Fact #251: spelling cool with a K is way kooler. 

Fact #368: I'm actually a really weird person, especially whenever I'm with my dad. He probably knows me better than anyone. 

Fact #925: my dad watches little kid shows late at night to help him fall asleep quicker. 

Fact #88: I secretly want to keep this sweatshirt cause it smells too good to be true. But that's creepy. 

Fact #505: I'm a major slacker in school, I just bs most of my essays and teachers don't catch it...

Fact #506: you're respect level for me just dropped a bunch just barely didn't it. 

Fact #476: the reason for being exhausted at the end of the day is because you've gone through 6 hours of brainwashing and tried to interact with other humans. 

Fact #23: missionary letters are so bittersweet its hard to function right. 

Fact #whoknows: I'm probably writing this as an excuse to do another list...yeah   k kool. 

#sorrynotsorry 

Happy almost day of love people. 

thanks for tuning in cupcake. 

a girl and her giraffe dreams

Guess what. I have a special place in my heart for giraffes because they kissed my hands one time. 

It was love at first lick. 

I almost kidnapped one but there were too many witnesses. One day...one day this dream will come true. 

My friend here looks like a giraffe. Enjoy the adorableness in this. 

I'll just be day dreaming about giraffes now. K bye. 

Till next time lollipop. 

BeeCUZ who doesn't like randomness?

One time I got hit by a car. Crazy right? Cool story bro. 

Bad luck tho.

Luckily I had someone to help me when it happened. If I didn't i probably would have bawled like a baby for hours just sitting there. Even tho I kinda did that when I finally got in my car. It's actually pretty funny how things turn out. Like how my luck is crazy unpradictable like a druggie trying to remember where he placed his last fix. 

Bad comparison I know. 

>I got encircled in a giant hug by three gems when I was having a pretty bad day. 

> I'm googling questions to ask someone who is high from getting their wisdom teeth out. 

>I am confident I promise...just not as much on the inside than as the outside. 

> Lets play a really funny prank that you mail me Polaroid film. Yeah? K kool.  

>a dear friend gave me flowers and a note today and I just about cried. 

> Seriously tho. I'd kiss the person that helped me out with my Polaroid film absence. 

>I can feel a permanent heart beat in my knee. 

>I'd rather blog than focus in class. Which I'm kind of doing...whoops 

>if anyone has a piece of old dark wood I could use to paint on thad be rad. 

> mah sista TSwift's song "the last time" probably touches my heart more than it should 

> it scares me to the point of nightmares that in 8 months my adult life starts to begin.

> This wizard is just not prepared for the muggle world. 

> Feb 19th seriously couldn't come any faster. 

>I really like talking to you. 

>I'm going to be the dopest aunt there ever was. 

thanks for tuning in. 

list list list list

Here's a picture cause i don't know why, and I'm blogging. Kool people are blogging in lists these days, so I'm going to too cause I want to be kool when I grow up 

~ Sometimes I scare myself how creepy I can be.

~ Yes I like that boy next door, so sue me if that sounds disgustingly cheesy. 

~I hardly eat the lunch my dad makes me...that's such a mean daughter thing to do. 

~ One time there was this girl who had friends but didn't have friends. Ya know what I mean? The end. 

~ I really like that sound when it's completely silent then you laugh super loud, almost disruptive like. 

~ I hate physics w/ tech because my teacher has no soul and makes fun of anyone about anything. He should be fired for that right??

~ my vocabulary is weird...kool, awesom possum, goober, turd...

~ The only thing keeping me back from escaping to Europe is school....and money of course. stupid money.

~ Sometimes I think I am the funniest person and laugh at jokes I haven't even said outloud. 

~ I really want my best friend back like how it used to be. 

~ I don't really see what all the excitement for the Olympics is about?

~ Yeah I still have no clue. 

~ I was dumb enough to get hit by a car, now tell me there isn't a blonde joke in that waiting for me. 

~ I really love painting. But I have absolutely no talent. 

~ I secretly want to go ice skating but we all know the embarrassment that would come from that would be too much to bare. 

~ Knock knock. 

~ This knee injury has really messed with my sleeping schedule to the point that I don't even look acceptable when I leave to school anymore...  

~ Is it bad I love being the only child at home? I still love my brothers, for the most part ;) 

~ So how 'bout we do something spontanious? Yeah? Okay awesome possum. 

~ Pookeybear is a funny pet name to call someone. But hey whateva floats ya boat. 

~ This list is getting too long...but I really like sharing things. 

~Mama's gonna get her mint chocolate brownie 

~ Once upon a time this boy made this girl laugh really hard she badly didn't want to leave without a kiss. 

~ I should make my own words up! Hungfillerpit: when you have an insperation to invent new words. (Sounds German)

~ Roses are red....valentines day is this week! Woah! 

~ Okay I should end it here before we get really weird or let things slip that shouldn't, Sunday blogging does that to me. 

thanks for watching. 

ps. there's a slight chance this whole post was a waste of your time but that sounds like a personal problem.