#sorrynotsorry

Last night I was in the dumps so I re-read my old journals to get some kicks and giggles out of it. But instead of LOLing, my heart began to fill with so much gratitude. I realized how crappy my life was when I lived in Orem. I know you are suppose to look at the positive of your past. But honestly? The only good thing about Orem was that my family was there for me. And even then my brothers were all teenagers and youngsters who wanted to be with friends more than family. There's a lot I don't like to talk about or share with others because I hate remembering it. Now don't think I had a terrible childhood or anything, my childhood was wonderful! But once I hit 6th grade everything changed. 

My friends would start to invite me to sleepovers and "parties" that for some reason gave everyone the idea to make stupid choices. They started hanging out with older kids, trying to be cool cause that's all that mattered to them. Being the world's biggest blonde I didn't think anything of it until my dad woke me up, and helped me see through the fog that my friends had created. So I "got out" so to speak and told them I was sticking with my standards which led them to ignoring me because that wasn't the cool thing to do. And soon they became people I didn't even recognize anymore. I'm so grateful I woke up, even though it ripped my heart in half to be shut out by your friends you use to play house with, run around with at recess, and swap Polly Pockets with. 

I hung on to my Heavenly Fathers hand through 7th grade. Looking back now I probably was that quiet weird girl in the corner everyone walked past. But that's okay, my Savior was with me through the thick and thin. Then my parents told us we were moving and a massive weight was lifted from me. 

When we moved I was terrified but unbelievably excited for the new adventure that was coming our way and a fresh beginning. My mother was so worried and frantic when we decided to move. She kept saying we were moving to get more space and a nicer home but I knew it was for me. And now look at my life. I have wonderful friends that are to die for, and some even have the bestest blogs out there. I love them dearly and am grateful for the challenge to become better they give everyday! Believe it or not but they accept me too, weirdness and all. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I truly am forever in debt to The Lord for rescuing me and putting me somewhere I belong. 

There still are days I get texts from those old friends that sometime open the wounds back up, and sting. But all I can do is pray they will find their way too. 

Wow this was bold.

#sorrynotsorry  

K bye.